The past is an unsolved mystery and the truth a moving target.

Where I come from these days, anybody who isn't seeing a therapist needs to.

If not for bad luck we'd have no luck at all.

You ought to try surviving one of my family reunions. It's like having a bowling alley in your brain.

Men give love because they want sex. Women give sex because they want love. That's the difference between men and women. Ever notice how when we talk about our love lives, it's always about a man? Singular. All most of us want is one good man. But when men talk, it's about women. Plural. They want as many as they can get.

To entrust to an editor a story over which you have labored and to which your name and reputation are attached can be like sending your daughter off for an evening with Ted Bundy.

Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.