Sex gets people killed, put in jail, beaten up, bankrupted, and disgraced, to say nothing of ruined - personally, politically, and professionally. Looking for sex can lead to misfortune, and if you get lucky and find it, it can leave you maimed, infected, or dead. Other than that, it's swell: the great American pastime. ... You probably won't see it on a bumper sticker, but sex kills.

I always warn aspiring reporters to observe three basic rules: 1. Never trust an editor. 2. Never trust an editor. 3. Never trust an editor.

If not for bad luck we'd have no luck at all.

Where I come from these days, anybody who isn't seeing a therapist needs to.

Fear is like water. You need it. And it's good for you, as long as you have the right amount.

Life is a death-defying experience.

... I have become a conscientious objector in the war between the sexes.