Everyone should learn a manual trade: It's never too late to become an honest person.

Every man should be his own guru; every woman her own gurette.

Preacher to me: 'A dollar for the Lord, brother?' Me to preacher: 'That's all right, I'm headed his way. I'll give it to him when I see him.'

Anyone not paranoid in this world must be crazy. . . . Speaking of paranoia, it's true that I do not know exactly who my enemies are. But that of course is exactly why I'm paranoid.

Nothing could be older than the daily news, nothing deader than yesterday's newspaper.

I always write with my .357 magnum handy. Why? Well, you never know when God may try to interfere.

Defiance is beautiful. The defiance of power, especially great or overwhelming power, exalts and glorifies the rebel.