God is a sound people make when they're too tired to think anymore.

Homosexuality, like androgyny, might be an instinctive racial response to overpopulation, crowding, and stress. Both flourish when empire reaches its apogee.

Humility is a virtue when you have no other.

How to Avoid Pleurisy: Never make love to a girl named Candy on the tailgate of a half-ton Ford pickup during a chill rain in April out on Grandview Point in San Juan County, Utah.

The distrust of wit is the beginning of tyranny.

If there's anything I hate, it's the vibraphone. And the cha-cha-cha. And Latin rhythms generally.

To the intelligent man or woman, life appears infinitely mysterious. But the stupid have an answer for every question.