The missionaries go forth to Christianize the savages - as if the savages weren't dangerous enough already.

I have been a lucky man. But someone has to be.

Rocks, like louseworts and snail darters and pupfish and 3rdworld black, lesbian, feminist, militant poets, have rights, too. Especially the right to exist.

New Yorkers like to boast that if you can survive in New York, you can survive anywhere. But if you can survive anywhere, why live in New York?

If there's anyone still present whom I've failed to insult . . . I apologize.

Nature, like Maimonides said, is mainly a good place to throw beer cans on Sunday afternoons.

When the situation is desperate, it is too late to be serious. Be playful.