Cowboys make better lovers: Ask any cow.

The earth is real. Only a fool, milking his cow, denies the cow's reality.

Why I oppose the nuclear-arms race: I prefer the human race.

Balance, that's the secret. Moderate extremism. The best of both worlds.

The feminist notion that the whole of human history has been nothing but a vast intricate conspiracy by men to enslave their wives, mothers, daughters, and sisters presents us with an intellectual neurosis for which we do not yet have a name.

Democracy -- rule by the people -- sounds like a fine thing; we should try it sometime in America.

My computer tells me that in twenty-five years there will be no more computers.