Football is a game for trained apes. That, in fact, is what most of the players are -- retarded gorillas wearing helmets and uniforms. The only thing more debased is the surrounding mob of drunken monkeys howling the gorillas on.

All serious writers want the obvious rewards: fame, money, women, love -- and most of all, an audience!

It is not an easy thing to inflate a dog.

Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul.

Not all questions can be answered.

It's true: Every time you kill an elk, you're saving some cow's life.

There never was a good war or a bad revolution.