When I hear the word 'culture', I reach for my checkbook.

Recorded history is largely an account of the crimes and disasters committed by banal little men at the levers of imperial machines.

There are some places so beautiful they can make a grown man break down and weep.

Each thing in its way, when true to its own character, is equally beautiful. (p 41)

If there's anything I hate, it's the vibraphone. And the cha-cha-cha. And Latin rhythms generally.

When a writer has done the best that he can do, he should then withdraw from the book-writing business and take up an honest trade like shoe repair, cattle stealing, or screwworm management.

The author: an imaginary person who writes real books.