The most striking thing about the rich is the gracious democracy of their manners -- and the crude vulgarity of their way of life.

I believe that there is a kind of poetry, even a kind of truth, in simple fact.

Football is a game for trained apes. That, in fact, is what most of the players are -- retarded gorillas wearing helmets and uniforms. The only thing more debased is the surrounding mob of drunken monkeys howling the gorillas on.

A genius is always on duty; even his dreams are tax deductible.

In the land of bleating sheep and braying jackasses, one brave and honest man is bound to create a scandal.

Except for the scale of the operation, there was nothing unusual about Hitler's massacre of the Jews. Genocide's an old tradition, as human as mother love or cherry pie.

In the afternoon I watch the clouds drift past the bald peak of Mount Tukuhnikivats. (Someone has to do it.)