Two-thirds of all preachers, doctors and lawyers are hanging on to the coat tails of progress, shouting, whoa! while a good many of the rest are busy strewing banana peels along the line of march.

Respectability is the dickey on the bosom of civilization.

Art is the beautiful way of doing things. Science is the effective way of doing things. Business is the economic way of doing things.

If you have health, you probably will be happy, and if you have health and happiness, you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.

A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other... until death do them join.

Live truth instead of professing it.

Imitation is the sincerest form of insult.