The new definition of a heathen is a man who has never played baseball.

Failure -- The man who can tell others what to do and how to do it, but never does it himself.

Library: A place where the dead lie.

Imitation is the sincerest form of insult.

The only way to retain love is to give it away.

Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.

Make two grins grow where there was only a grouch before.