Penguins mate for life. Which doesn't really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It's not like they're gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.
Ellen DeGeneresOne time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine.
Ellen DeGeneresBeauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.
Ellen DeGeneresThe legend goes that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I was thinking... that must be hard to put all the tiny seatbelts on all the snakes.
Ellen DeGeneresReally, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work.
Ellen DeGeneresYou listen to any monologue on late-night TV or just in general, to people talking, and there's always a joke at someone's expense. It's sarcasm; it's nasty. Kids grow up hearing that, and they think that's what humor is, and they think it's OK. But that negativity permeates the entire planet.
Ellen DeGeneres