Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've never sung the right words in that song? You hear them and all of a sudden you say to yourself, 'Life in the Fast Lane?' That's what they're saying right there? You think, 'why have I been singing 'wipe in the vaseline?' how many people have heard me sing 'wipe in the vaseline?' I am an idiot.
Ellen DeGeneresCome on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not a good actor.
Ellen DeGeneresHave you ever thought about toothpaste? Ellen has! And she makes a point about all of the types of toothpaste that Colgate offers!
Ellen DeGeneresMeditation is helping me learn to sit still. Twenty minutes of meditation in the morning is a nice way to start my day. If you can actually sit still and really get to that place of silence, you realize what's important and what's not important. Little things don't usually get to me anymore.
Ellen DeGeneresHuman beings only use ten percent of their brains. Ten percent! Can you imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other sixty percent?
Ellen DeGeneresI appreciate your giving my book -- and in no small way, me -- a chance. To thank you, I really wanted to acknowledge all of you in the book. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough room for each name. So I've put in a code name that stands for all of you reading this book. The name is 'Mom.' It will be our little secret. So when you see 'Mom' in the acknowledgments, you'll know I'm really talking about you. And don't let my mother try to tell you otherwise.
Ellen DeGeneres