don't try for wit. Settle for humor. You'll last longer.
The secret of my success is that no woman has ever been jealous of me.
Intolerance of mediocrity has been the main prop of my independence.
I make enemies deliberately. They are the sauce piquante to my dish of life.
To get fifty people to a cocktail party in New York, you ask one hundred. In Hollywood, you invite twenty.
Serve the dinner backward, do anything - but for goodness sake, do something weird.