It's a dangerous game that comedy plays. Sometimes it tells you the truth; sometimes it delays it.

What do we care, if the world is a joke? We'll give it a big kiss, we'll give it a poke. Death wears a big hat cause he's a big bloke.

I knew I was in trouble, but I thought I was in hell.

When in doubt, play track 4 - it is usually the one you want.

There are some things you can't cover up with lipstick and powder.

Somebody should clip Sting around the head and tell him to stop using that ridiculous Jamaican accent.

Sometimes I write notes that I have difficulty singing.