I try to direct people in distress to the right resources, where they can get comprehensive help. I've heard from many people that simply putting down in a letter what is going on in their lives is therapeutic in and of itself.

Interfering, judgmental, and disrespectful mothers-in-law are common complaints.

People often recommend, "Why do you ask?" as a good conversation stopper. But that really doesn't end the conversation, it just leaves the other person sputtering for a response. I like, "You'll be the first to know.".

There are some people who do not have a wild past because being wild would make them terribly self-conscious and uncomfortable.

I do feel haunted by some of the letters and the suffering people have endured. But I keep in mind that the people who write to me know that I am a journalist and an on-line advice columnist, not a social service professional.

Sometimes people have a wild past because they have an essentially wild nature, and that's how they plan to go through life. Sometimes such people settle into happy monogamy, and can be content there because they never have to wonder, "What did I miss?"

I've never gotten a letter where I thought I knew the person. But I have heard from people who think they know the letter writer.