The biggest problem is that people want to tell the whole story, and they write letters that are way longer than anything I could possibly run.
Emily YoffeSometimes people have a wild past because they have an essentially wild nature, and that's how they plan to go through life. Sometimes such people settle into happy monogamy, and can be content there because they never have to wonder, "What did I miss?"
Emily YoffeIf you think a caregiver has an active substance abuse problem, that person should never be entrusted with your child.
Emily YoffeThe sadness from reading letters that you know you can't help because it's a person who's in extremis and their problems are not soluble by an advice column.
Emily YoffeI counseled a 75-year-old married, bi-sexual man who was having a gay affair and was not having sex with his wife to continue his secret life because that seemed like the kindest thing to do. But a young woman embarking on married life, hoping to start a family with her husband, needs to at least know he's already living a double life.
Emily YoffeIt is a mystery why people think they need to act as their friends' dietitian, nonetheless it's common.
Emily YoffeExtreme picky eaters may have what's called Selective Eating Disorder. People with this experience physical and psychological discomfort over certain tastes, smells, textures.
Emily YoffeI spent most of my 20s dating older men, and I really wish I had spent that time dating men my own age who were going through the same experiences I was. I totally understand the appeal of a mature, dashing older man over fellow twenty-somethings who are still figuring things out. And, true, a fling with an older man can be instructive in many ways, and no doubt he finds you attractive.
Emily YoffeThe world's full of victims and the world's full of terrible perpetrators and I want them identified and caught.
Emily YoffeI think it's helpful for kids to know that their parents weren't perfect, that they messed up and learned from their mistakes. So be open about some of your own struggles or express gratitude that your kids are taking advantage of the opportunities they have instead of squandering many of them, the way you did.
Emily Yoffeะs I've mentioned many times, sitting through graduation ceremonies is one of life's drearier milestones.
Emily YoffeEach week I am forced to revise my original opinion that Facebook is a great innovation for keeping people in touch, to believing that it is merely a canvas for members to act out strange, unresolved conflicts and desires.
Emily YoffeMost women at some point or many points in their lives will have to deal with an unwanted advance and having the confidence to be "rude" and say no is an important skill to develop.
Emily YoffeI'm certainly not suggesting legalization of polyamory. But it's also unfairly judgmental of you to compare such relationships to the criminal acts of bestiality or child sexual abuse.
Emily YoffeWhen people are really drunk they have a propensity to harm themselves and others - they fall off buildings, they drive into other cars.
Emily YoffePeople often recommend, "Why do you ask?" as a good conversation stopper. But that really doesn't end the conversation, it just leaves the other person sputtering for a response. I like, "You'll be the first to know.".
Emily YoffeWhen you're dealing with an in-law violation, I think the first line of defense is for the blood relation to have a serious talk.
Emily YoffeI'm wondering how someone who goes around wearing a wedding ring succeeded in the dating pool. Normally a wedding ring sends a flashing "Do Not Enter" message - except to those looking for flings with married people.
Emily YoffeI do feel haunted by some of the letters and the suffering people have endured. But I keep in mind that the people who write to me know that I am a journalist and an on-line advice columnist, not a social service professional.
Emily YoffeAnyone who marries gets no guarantee that their partner, no matter what they vow, will always keep that promise.
Emily YoffeI think the definition of someone who's still a swinger is a person who remains signed up on swinger websites because they're "humorous." If you'd been married to an alcoholic and found yourself dating someone whose couch cushions were stuffed with empty bottles, you might conclude you're part of the problem and are attracted to men who are going to keep making you miserable in the same oh-so-familiar way. I think you should look to date someone for whom the idea of a swinger website makes him want to slather himself in sanitizing gel.
Emily YoffeI have this wonderful capacity just to walk away from my mistakes and not dwell on them.
Emily YoffeAn alcoholic 47-year-old woman with teenagers who thinks a guy in his mid-20s is a good prospect as a partner definitely has some judgment and character flaws.
Emily YoffeI agree that not responding, and blocking his email, is the way to deal with the man you hope falls silent again.
Emily YoffeThe only solution seems to be for government to toughen the vaccination laws and close the loopholes that allow people to opt out for philosophical and so-called religious reasons. The laws need to make clear: no shot, no school.
Emily YoffeAccept the fact that life presents us with opportunities to find more than one "one", and that you have learned a mighty life lesson when the next one comes along.
Emily YoffeI try to direct people in distress to the right resources, where they can get comprehensive help. I've heard from many people that simply putting down in a letter what is going on in their lives is therapeutic in and of itself.
Emily YoffeOnce an affair is over, the cheaters need to agree not to see each other anymore in order to reestablish trust with their spouses.
Emily YoffeI am against lying, but just because someone asks a question does not mean you have to answer it.
Emily YoffeSetting up a college fund would be a great way to redirect the tangible evidence of Daddy's love.
Emily YoffeObama's major accomplishment is himself. This can be an effective argument to make to undecided voters and something Obama has to artfully address.
Emily YoffeThere are some people who do not have a wild past because being wild would make them terribly self-conscious and uncomfortable.
Emily YoffeSometimes people back themselves into corners where they think they have to make kind of an engraved-in-stone decision.
Emily YoffeYou can't get a guarantee from everyone who appears in personal photographs that they will forever remain warm presences in one's life or sweet memories.
Emily YoffeLove is not shown by giving your toddler a car. It's better demonstrated by clapping as she bangs on pots or singing to her while she plays with her cheap little bath toys in the tub.
Emily YoffeInsecurity is a toxin and confidence is a tonic, so make the choice not to dwell on the worst possible case.
Emily YoffeSure, people talk about all kinds of stuff at the office, but surely everyone has better things to do than sound like they're auditioning for Fox News.
Emily YoffePolygamy has an ancient history and is legal in many parts of the world. I find the rules of polygamy to be damaging and it's potentially dangerous to young girls and terrible for "excess" boys. But polyamory is supposed to be a more equal arrangement among agreeing adults.
Emily YoffeWhen you expand the definition of marriage beyond one man and one woman, society can expect other consenting adults in other configurations to say that their choices deserve recognition.
Emily Yoffe