No one ever loved you like him. And no one ever took it away so completely. But it's here. Look around.
Emma ForrestThere is that doll dress-up quality of adorable teenage girl writer, and I never felt either as adorable as I was supposed to be, or as dark as the rumors, you know, "She must have slept with the editor," and I was like, "Oh my god, I'm still a virgin." It was very strange.
Emma ForrestThere is a blessing in losing the one we love. It's the blessing of self-transformation. You don't have to who you were anymore. You've struggled. And now you can change. It doesn't mean that bits of that person won't cling to you, they will throughout your life, but they are now subsumed into something greater. That person has given you, in fact, the most important blessing, which is they gave you the blessing of transforming your soul into something better, something more beautiful.
Emma ForrestWhat people don't understand when you've already been a suicide and pulled through is that after the sadness comes fear: Where is my mind going with this? I don't want to die. I do not want to die. When you don't have so much control over your own thoughts, over the myriad voices in your head, you don't know where they could go.
Emma ForrestA lot of the time in my recurring dreams, before I was diagnosed, iconic people would either be good or evil figures. I remember dreaming really basic stuff like trying to navigate the London underground, but then Paul Newman would be the only one who would direct me to the right trains. And I'm trying to remember who would direct me to the wrong ones.
Emma ForrestYouโre like Marilyn Monroe,โ Ken tells me, which I take as a compliment and say a nervous โThank Youโ. Interrupting, he adds, โYouโre all velvet and Velcro. Men want you because youโre sexy and broken and when it gets too rough they can say โHey! This toy is broken!โ and toss you aside without feeling bad.
Emma Forrest