Write a page every single day, even if what you put on the page that day is no good - it's the only way to get better.
Emma ForrestWhat people don't understand when you've already been a suicide and pulled through is that after the sadness comes fear: Where is my mind going with this? I don't want to die. I do not want to die. When you don't have so much control over your own thoughts, over the myriad voices in your head, you don't know where they could go.
Emma ForrestYouโre like Marilyn Monroe,โ Ken tells me, which I take as a compliment and say a nervous โThank Youโ. Interrupting, he adds, โYouโre all velvet and Velcro. Men want you because youโre sexy and broken and when it gets too rough they can say โHey! This toy is broken!โ and toss you aside without feeling bad.
Emma ForrestHe was a super shiny boy and I liked the shape of him. Under the blanket. In the shower. I liked his shadow on the street and his imprint on the sofa. I hated the smell of hair gel on his head, but I loved it on the pillow. I love the smell of losing someone.
Emma ForrestThank God the Internet didn't exist when I was 15, 16. I knew people were tearing me apart, but my God, if there had been a net and commenters and I would have been reading them - it was bad enough as it was. To grow up in the media eye, I'm glad it happened, but that was definitely not healthy being around adults all the time.
Emma Forrest