Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl

Waitress: "And to drink?" Artemis: "Spring water. Irish, if you have it. And no ice, please. As your ice is no doubt made from tap water, which rather defeats the purpose of spring water.

Just what we need," moaned Holly. "Artemis Fowl with magical powers.

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom.

It'll be messy, but after a day you'll be zipping around as though you were a thousand years old again.

The thing about reading is that if you are hooked, you're not going to stop just because one series is over; you're going to go and find something else.

Remember this? You gave it to me for ensuring your trigger finger got reattached to your hand. You said it would remind me of that spark of decency inside me. I'm trying to do something decent now, Captain.