What hurts this person is not the occurrence itself, for another person might not feel oppressed by this situation at all. What is hurting this person is the response he or she has uncritically adopted. It is not a demonstration of kindness or friendship to the people we care about to join them in indulging in wrongheaded, negative feelings.
EpictetusThe universe is but one great city, full of beloved ones, divine and human, by nature endeared to each other.
EpictetusAs a man, casting off worn out garments taketh new ones, so the dweller in the body, entereth into ones that are new.
Epictetus