I'm not really a celebrity; I'm just vestigially left over from doing stuff from before.

I used to think I was like the wicket- keeper, which is like the catcher in base- ball, y'know what I mean? You can call the play a lot from behind the plate, y'know what I mean? You're not necessarily the star, you're not the one that makes the mark, but usually in the end, you're called upon to get a run when it's needed.

If you're famous, you have to [be overly generous], otherwise people say, "Eric Idle came in and only left me $4." I always tip more than people expect.

People can tell the truth much more freely when they're apparently lying.

Filming a pirate film is always good fun, with ships and indecent clothing.

Know what I mean? Eh, eh, Nudge nudge, Say no more?

I'm not careful with my money at all these days. I buy people a lot of dinners!