The idea that we evolved with these thoughts is actually very fascinating - to me.

I listen to the audience and try and bounce with them. All audiences are different. But they are all homo sapiens.

At Cambridge, you have to kiss the vice-chancellor's fingers. But I missed out on that, 'cause I was doing a matinee. I don't want to kiss a strange man's fingers anyway.

Bear in mind the simple rule, X squared to the power of two minus five over the seven point eight three times nineteen is approximately equal to the cube root of MCC squared divided by X minus a quarter of a third percent. Keep that in mind, and you can't go very far wrong.

Executives do not on the whole do well with comedy. They can't understand it, they can't read it, they can't spot it.

I hate movies. They're so boring. So tedious.

If the studios paid the artists, how would they ever be able to afford the executives?