When I was 23 I started writing for I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again and was paid three guineas for every minute's airtime.

I'm not really a celebrity; I'm just vestigially left over from doing stuff from before.

I never pay any attention to figures.

I get to be the first doctor in the family [because of the honorary degree they're giving me].

My father, who was a sergeant in the RAF during the Second World War, was killed in a hitchhiking accident while returning home on compassionate leave. As a result, my mother had to get work, as a nurse, and at seven the RAF put me into a boarding school and ex-orphanage called the Royal Wolverhampton School.

I've got soggy thighs. It must be dinner time.

Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold even fewer.