[Cole Porter] sang like a hinge.

I've never suffered stage fright. That fascinates people.

I remember Tallulah (Bankhead) telling of going into a public ladies' room and discovering there was no toilet tissue. She looked underneath the booth and said to the lady in the next stall, 'I beg your pardon, do you happen to have any toilet tissue in there?' The lady said no. So Tallulah said, 'Well, then, dahling, do you have two fives for a ten?'

There have been people who have tried to take advantage of me. They want to be linked to me just because I'm Ethel Merman.

As far as dramas are concerned, it's considered passe for playwrights to turn out anything the average person can understand

I have been ambitious to be a somebody from the time I was 5 years old

Who's happy these days?