I remember Tallulah (Bankhead) telling of going into a public ladies' room and discovering there was no toilet tissue. She looked underneath the booth and said to the lady in the next stall, 'I beg your pardon, do you happen to have any toilet tissue in there?' The lady said no. So Tallulah said, 'Well, then, dahling, do you have two fives for a ten?'

I was lucky enough to have the songs in my first show written by George and Ira Gershwin. Then Cole Porter wrote five shows for me

I have been ambitious to be a somebody from the time I was 5 years old

My beloved Mom and Pop always rated tops with each other, and that's the way it will always be

As far as dramas are concerned, it's considered passe for playwrights to turn out anything the average person can understand

Any audience that gets a laugh out of me gets it while I'm facing them

My father taught me to read music and play the piano-but not well, even though people have said that I'm a natural musician