My father taught me to read music and play the piano-but not well, even though people have said that I'm a natural musician

As far as dramas are concerned, it's considered passe for playwrights to turn out anything the average person can understand

There have been people who have tried to take advantage of me. They want to be linked to me just because I'm Ethel Merman.

Of my four marriages, the one to Bob Levitt is the only one I don't regret

I remember Tallulah (Bankhead) telling of going into a public ladies' room and discovering there was no toilet tissue. She looked underneath the booth and said to the lady in the next stall, 'I beg your pardon, do you happen to have any toilet tissue in there?' The lady said no. So Tallulah said, 'Well, then, dahling, do you have two fives for a ten?'

I've never suffered stage fright. That fascinates people.

I'll pat myself on the back and admit I have talent. Beyond that, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time