I have now reached the happy age of 23. No, happy is not quite the right word. At this particular moment I am certainly not happy.

I sat with him for three hours and we did not exchange a single word. At the end he handed me, as he had done before, an envelope with money in it. It would have been much nicer if he had enclosed a greeting or a loving word. I would have been so pleased if he had.

If I had a dog I would not feel so lonely, but I suppose that is asking for too much.

I have now reached the happy age of 23. No, happy is not quite the right word. At this particular moment I am certainly not happy.

I am racking my brains to find out why he left without saying goodby to me.

When he says he loves me, it only means he loves me at that particular instant. Like his promises, which he never keeps. Why does he torment me like this, when he could finish it off at once?

I am so infinitely happy that he loves me so much, and I pray that it will always be like this. It won't be my fault if he ever stops loving me.