I do not believe the expenditure of $2.50 for a book entitles the purchaser to the personal friendship of the author.

I never can understand how two men can write a book together; to me that's like three people getting together to have a baby.

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.

The only thing that it is advisable to know in any language is the numerals; and even there, you can do a lot with the fingers.

I am suing Lord Beaverbrook for libel and hope for some lovely tax-free money in damages. He has very conveniently told some lies about me.

I read the newspapers with lively interest. It is seldom that they are absolutely, point-blank wrong. That is the popular belief, but those who are in the know can usually discern an embryo of truth, a little grit of fact, like the core of a pearl, round which have been deposited the delicate layers of ornament.

Once you start changing a name, you see, there's no reason ever to stop. One always hears one that sounds better.