Only when one has lost all curiosity about the future has one reached the age to write an autobiography.

The only thing that it is advisable to know in any language is the numerals; and even there, you can do a lot with the fingers.

Never get mixed up in a Welsh wrangle. It doesn't end in blows like an Irish one, but goes on forever.

Beer commercials are so patriotic: Made the American Way. What does that have to do with America? Is that what America stands for? Feeling sluggish and urinating frequently?

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. It is the people brought up in the gay intimacy of the slums who find prison so soul-destroying.

That's the public-school system all over. They may kick you out, but they never let you down.

The anguished suspense of watching the lips you hunger for, framing the words, the death sentence, of sheer triteness!