Every Englishman abroad, until it is proved to the contrary, likes to consider himself a traveller and not a tourist.

My unhealthy affection for my second daughter has waned. Now I despise all my seven children equally.

I haven't been to sleep for over a year. That's why I go to bed early. One needs more rest if one doesn't sleep.

She told me later that she had made a kind of note of me in her mind, as, scanning the shelf for a particular book, one will sometimes have one's attention caught by another, take it down, glance at the title page and saying "I must read that, too, when I've the time," replace it and continue the search.

I never can understand how two men can write a book together; to me that's like three people getting together to have a baby.

Her heart was broken perhaps, but it was a small inexpensive organ of local manufacture. In a wider and grander way she felt things had been simplified.

Beer commercials are so patriotic: Made the American Way. What does that have to do with America? Is that what America stands for? Feeling sluggish and urinating frequently?