No matter what you look like, there's somebody who's gonna think you're the handsomest man in the world.

Marriage. Isn't it great? Each time you fall back in love with your [spouse] it gets better and better.

By the way, is there anything sadder than toys on a grave?

I believe poor people are good people, except the ones that are mean . . .

The line between the public life and the private life has been erased, due to the rapid decline of manners and courtesy. There is a certain crudeness and crassness that has suddenly become accepted behavior, even desirable.

One gal drank a can of floor wax and topped it off with a cup of Clorox, trying to separate herself from the same world he was in.

It's always the darkest just before the glorious dawn.