All right, then, I'd die for you. How about that? Don't you think somebody could die for love?

I brought a picture with me that I had at home, of a girl in a swing with a castle and pretty blue bubbles in the background, to hang in my room, but that nurse here said the girl was naked from the waist up and not appropriate. You know, I've had that picture for fifty years and I never knew she was naked. If you ask me, I don't think the old men they've got here can see well enough to notice that she's bare-breasted. But, this is a Methodist home, so she's in the closet with my gallstones.

If you do everything in your power to avoid writing and still can't, then you must be a writer.

It was a stretch to imagine that Barbara Walters might want to give it all up for Ed Couch, but Evelyn tried her hardest. Of course, even though she was not religious, it was a comfort to know that the Bible backed her up in being a doormat.

Are you a politician or does lying just run in your family?

No matter what you look like, there's somebody who's gonna think you're the handsomest man in the world.

Remember, if people talk about you behind your back, it only means you are two steps ahead of them.