Silence emerges from the sound of rain and spreads in a crescendo of gray monotony over the narrow street I contemplate. Iโm sleeping while awake, standing by the window, leaning against it as against everything. I search in myself for the sensations I feel before these falling threads of darkly luminous water that stand out from the grimy building facades and especially from the open windows. And I donโt know what I feel or what I want to feel. I donโt know what to think or where I am.
Fernando PessoaI'm something that I used to be. I'm never where I feel I am, and if I seek myself, I don't know who's seeking me. My boredom with everything has numbed me. I feel banished from my soul.
Fernando PessoaI sometimes think that I enjoy suffering. But the truth is I would prefer something else.
Fernando Pessoa