If whisky or salt won't cure it, then to hell with it. I worry about important things.

Showing up at school already able to read is like showing up at the undertaker's already embalmed: people start worrying about being put out of their jobs.

I have a professional acquaintance whose recent eyelid job has left her with a permanent expression of such poleaxed astonishment that she looks at all times as if she had just read one of my books.

to a Southerner it is faux pas, not sins, that matter in this world.

Let's bring back grandmothers! A real family consists of three generations. It's time Americans stopped worrying about interference and being a burden on the children and regrouped under one roof.

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

Chinks in America's egalitarian armor are not hard to find. Democracy is the fig leaf of elitism.