Tolerance is really a better thing than understanding. Because it doesn't agitate against human nature.

The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat.

Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a Lesbian.

Scientists are rarely to be counted among the fun people. Awkward at parties, shy with strangers, deficient in irony - they have had no choice but to turn their attention to the close study of everyday objects.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

I hate academic mysteries. As soon as I come across the word 'don' and it's not someone's first name, I close the book.

A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.