I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use.

I prefer dead writers because you don't run into them at parties.

They know you can't get people to stop smoking, so they develop a system of informants. That's the whole idea of second-hand smoke, you know. Make second-hand smoke dangerous and turn everybody against smokers. Then they say you can't even smoke in a bar - a bar! - because bartenders have a right to a smoke-free "workspace." Ah, bartenders, those health nuts.

remember this: no matter how politely or distinctly you ask a Parisian a question he will persist in answering you in French.

Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special.

What's the point of being young if you're not going to make new things, I wonder?

When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer.