I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use.

Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's own interest in the topic has waned.

Even if people aren't Republicans, it doesn't seem shocking to them that Ronald Reagan was the president. Well of course, because Arnold Schwarzenegger was the governor! This is not only a bar too low, this is no bar at all. I don't care who you are, you know 20 people smarter than Ronald Reagan. You know 20 people who would be a better president than Ronald Reagan.

Polite conversation is rarely either.

For the movie review columns, I always knew exactly what I was going to write about - the movies.

When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.

I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.