If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.

Will power is not telling anybody you quit smoking.

Without these tourists, New York would be fantastic. I don't want them to come. Stay home!

Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??

It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them.

Communists all seem to wear small caps, a look I consider better suited to tubes of toothpaste than to people.