I have a double policy, which would also solve immigration: I would stand at the border of New York City and I would say, "You can come here to live, but you can't come here to visit."

I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake. What you don't know won't hurt you. Sleep is death without the responsibility.

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.

When I'm supposed to be writing I clean my apartment, take my clothes to the laundry, get organized, make lists, do the dishes. I would never do a dish unless I had to write.

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

[On the writers she admires:] I prefer dead writers, because I don't see them at parties.