I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.

I just can't smile at people for money.

Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.

Do not approach with anything even resembling assurance a restaurant that moves.

Japanese food is very pretty and undoubtedly a suitable cuisine in Japan, which is largely populated by people of below average size. Hostesses hell-bent on serving such food to occidentals would be well advised to supplement it with something more substantial and to keep in mind that almost everybody likes french fries.

All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. It's much more relaxing to actually write.