Hotel tea is when you have to mix together a plastic envelope containing too much sugar, a small plastic pot of something which is not milk but has curdled anyway, and a thin brown packet seemingly containing the ashes of a cremated mole.
Frank MuirThe golden rule when reading the menu is, if you cannot pronounce it, you cannot afford it.
Frank MuirIt has been said that a bride's attitude towards her betrothed can be summed up in three words: Aisle. Alter. Hymn.
Frank MuirSome breakfast food manufacturer hit upon the simple notion of emptying out the leavings of carthorse nose bags, adding a few other things like unconsumed portions of chicken layer's mash, and the sweepings of racing stables, packing the mixture in little bags and selling them in health food shops.
Frank Muir