May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine.

[Dean Martin] is an absolute, unqualified drunk. And if we ever develop an Olympic drinking team, he's gonna be the coach... Dean Martin has been stoned more often than the United States embassies.

It took me a long, long time to learn what I now know, and I don't want that to die with me.

Don't get even, get mad.

I'm not one of those complicated, mixed-up cats. I'm not looking for the secret to life... I just go on from day to day, taking what comes.

Whatever else has been said about me personally is unimportant. When I sing, I believe. I'm honest.

I'm supposed to have a Ph.D. on the subject of women. But the truth is I've flunked more often than not. I'm very fond of women; I admire them. But, like all men, I don't understand them.