If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in your sleep.

Modern music is people who can't think signing artists who can't write songs to make records for people who can't hear.

I want a steamy little Jewish Princess with over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums. I don't want no troll, I just want a Yemenite hole.

Weedly-weedly-wee, make a face, hold your guitar like it's your weenie, point it heavenward, and look like you're really doing something. Then, you get a big ovation while the smoke bombs go off, and the motorized lights in your truss twirl around.

There are only two things to remember. Number one...Don't Stop, and number two...Keep Going!

Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read.

Ever try to have a conversation with someone on drugs? It just doesn't work.