I proceeded to take that mitten full of the deadly yellow snow crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous circular motion.

She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago. His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato.

People are just waiting around to get certified.

Okay, it was the Tree of Knowledge. "You eat this apple; you're going to be as smart as God." We can't have that.

She was a steady date until she put on some weight.

There's no reason to assume that my idea of what's better would really be better. I resent it when other people try to inflict their ideas of betterness on me. I don't think they know. And I can't see any authority on the horizon that's got any answers that seem worthwhile. Most of the things that are suggested are probably detrimental to your mental health.

There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it's going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.