Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

It's better to play to the host as though in a real conversation and let the audience listen in- which they are.

When I've mentioned things that I thought only happened to me, or thoughts that I felt had only had crossed my mind, the audience response indicated that they seemed to have happened to, or been thought of by many people.

You must not be afraid of small bits of silence. To use it well is the height of confidence and skill for a comedian. It increases the tension in a good way and adds contrast like a curveball complements the fastball of a good pitcher.

Evaluate every performance on: stage presence, concentration, delivery, material and lessons learned.

This whole urban rap thing needs to be pulled back some. The ghetto is being glorified, and there's nothing good about the ghetto except getting out of one.

Don't try to give a funny opinion; give your opinion in a way that will be funny.