Don't try to give a funny opinion; give your opinion in a way that will be funny.

When you take a pause before delivering your punch line, you will be using silence as a creative entity in itself.

I don't think that comedians have a tradition of trashing the next generation.

Originality is never embraced as quickly as the commonplace.

You can't wait forever for an audience to get the joke, but you should give them at least two seconds to join in before you go on to the next one.

Bombing teaches you how badly you want to become a comedian. Because unless it's a burning desire, you'll quit when the consistent bombing becomes too much to take.

Obviously the audience has veto power signified by whether they laugh or not, but you-not them-retain the ultimate power to decide what they're going to get the opportunity to laugh at.