An aspiring comedian must be determined to get to his or her true feelings on a subject and convey that to the audience. Figure out what you're feeling or interested in because the goal is to get the audience interested in what you're interested in. Good stand up comedy is drawing people into your head.

I advise treating the studio audience like a nightclub audience because that's the reason you're doing television - to get them to come see you in a nightclub.

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Being a professional comedian is doing it right and good, when you don't feel like it.

When I've mentioned things that I thought only happened to me, or thoughts that I felt had only had crossed my mind, the audience response indicated that they seemed to have happened to, or been thought of by many people.

Don't try to give a funny opinion; give your opinion in a way that will be funny.

Originality is never embraced as quickly as the commonplace.