So what you are accomplishing is entrenching yourself more and more in this world.
Learn to let go. You do it a little at a time.
There is another kind of wisdom, the wisdom of following - the wisdom of not taking the lead with your ego.
To do something perfectly, you must not think about what you are doing at all ... Your thoughts are what create imperfections in your actions. They alienate you from the true reality of any action you perform.
This is just one little lifetime in a succession of lifetimes.
You don't force change; you just open yourself to its possibilities and let it work through you.