If a jerk burns the flag, America is not threatened, democracy is not under siege, freedom is not at risk.

Politics was my third act. But I could have a fourth. I don't know what that will be yet, but there will be one.

I've personally demanded that tyrants let their people go. I've tried to feed the hungry, clothe the poor, protect the elderly and infirm, and defend the needy from the aggressively greedy. I've led a blessed life. What a kick for a kid from the projects.

Patriots don't let their nation default.

Every gun sold should require a background check, period.

For some reason, the military seems more afraid of gay people than they are against terrorists, but they're very brave with the terrorists... If the terrorists ever got a hold of this information, they'd get a platoon of lesbians to chase us out of Baghdad.

Whether rich people make money or lose money, they get no sympathy from the public.