Love doesn't keep a score of wrongs. Love doesn't bring up past failures. (1 Cor 13:5)

Love makes requests, not demands.

This is a huge thing if you are going to have a positive impact on your spouse. You have to not only realize this, but you have to practice this.

On the other hand, if I walk in the house, I don't even bother to find her, I just walk in the den and flip on the TV, get myself something to drink, sit down, start unwinding, I have influenced my wife in a very negative way.

We are trained to analyze problems and create solutions. We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve.

Sometimes when the spouse is really the culprit, it is hard to admit what you consider your little failures, but if you are going to have a better relationship, you admitting your part in the dynamics is a step in the road to healing. Because if they see you modeling apology, for example, and they see you modeling love, they may well get the idea that maybe they need to apologize.

The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.